How to talk about Thanksgiving with kids?

After a year of continuing to unlearn how my cultural, political, and social structures came to be in the United States, I feel uncomfortable celebrating Thanksgiving. The premise of having a holiday with a commonly accepted narrative which ignores the founding of the US on the stolen land, language, spirituality, culture, and children of Indigenous People's feels wrong. Typically by this week in previous years, my children would have watched several whitewashed accounts of Thanksgiving multiple times. While my husband and I have discontinued that and we talk about the centuries of colonization of European settlers and then Americans on our First Nations, it doesn't feel like enough. I don't want to suggest that a holiday about giving thanks can't be meaningful, but the historical and cultural significance of this holiday is tainted in grief for me. Luckily I've found some hopeful, historically accurate, and impactful resources:

I appreciated Early Risers' podcast, Season 2, Episode 2: "Rethinking Thanksgiving: How to speak to young children about historical and racialized trauma," released November 17, 2021.

Hostess Dianne Haulcy and guest, Vanessa Goodthunder, an early childhood educator and Dakota language activist talk in this 30 minute episode about the work Vanessa does as the director of C̣aƞṡayapi Waḳaƞyeża Owayawa Oṭi, which is Dakota for “Lower Sioux Children Are Sacred School,” an early childhood program in the Lower Sioux Indian community in southwestern Minnesota where children learn Dakota history and language as their birthright. Goodthunder explains why every day is Indigenous People’s Day and how she uses language as a tool to heal from historical trauma.

They share a fabulous family-friendly discussion guide to structure respectful and factual conversations with young children about our country’s history and its treatment of Indigenous people. Some of the questions for reflection include the following:

"Vanessa Goodthunder mentioned that there are only five people that are original Dakota speakers. About 30 more, including Goodthunder, learned Dakota as an adult.

Imagine for a moment what it must feel like to have your native language almost eradicated.

How do you think it would make you feel? React? See the world?

Goodthunder uses language as a way to heal the Dakota community from historical trauma. How can you use language in your current content to help people heal?"

There are also thoughtful tips to prepare to have candid conversations with kids from the insightful team at Cup of Jo "How to Talk to Kids About Thanksgiving." They highlight the differences in how many of us learned about the holiday in American schools with a plethora of evidence-based links to additional resources.

I am grateful to be reading Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of the Planets from Robin Wall Kimmerer. I love Robin's prose; when referring to sweetgrass she adoringly describes the sensory experience of the rich aromatic smell. Robin names the experience I have found myself to have: "Breathe it in and you start to remember things you didn't know you'd forgotten." She opens the book with the heartbreakingly poignant juxtaposition of the creation story from the Indigenous Peoples with Skywoman Falling and the Christian version of Adam and Eve.

In her work with Bioneers, Robin works to identify breakthrough solutions for restoring people and the planet. Robin's passion, vision, research, and work gives me hope. Robin is a mother, scientist, an enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation and decorated Professor of Environmental and Forest Biology at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry.

I am still early in the book, but wanted to pause to share a connection to my thoughts about Thanksgiving with the second chapter, Council of Pecans, a poignant set of stories about all that has been lost in the dissemination of our Indigenous People and their language, culture, identities, scientific knowledge,, social structures as well as political structures. This chapter underscores the lesson we learn from the tress that “no one is a soloist; what is good for one is good for all.”

Robin shares the Honorable Harvest; in this linked 3 min video where she explores the question: "What does ethical reciprocity between humans and the natural world look like?" At first my kids said - "Nothing, humans are bad for the earth." However, in reading the book aloud to them, we are coming to see what restorative roles we might take in addressing the many opportunities to rebuild, repair, and as Robin describes "honor the indigenous legacies that teach us how to commune with our planet."

Best wishes for a Thanksgiving grounded in an exploration of your relationship to the planet, people around you, and to nature. Please drop a line and share your thoughts, resources, and suggestions.